Sivin brought up an interesting thought yesterday: are we lost in transition? As time passes me by faster and faster, I feel a desperate urge to grab on to each day and really live it, as opposed to letting it pass me by while I spend the ticking minutes waiting for the next big event. In other words, while I spend it in transition.

He talked about getting stuck in traffic, a brilliant example. Everything can be a transition - waiting to get to work in the morning; waiting to get home while at work; waiting for the weekend during the weekdays... Then it gets bigger - waiting for the next holiday while the weeks pass us by; slogging mindlessly away and waiting (or hoping) for that next promotion or pay-rise; wishing the days would pass until maybe your wedding day or something...

Am I getting lost in my everyday transitions? Am I so busy looking forward that I forget to look around me where I am? I've actually been mulling this over (on and off) for a while now.

On a TV note, a random episode of Oprah has ignited a resolve to eat healthy. Ironically, I think I ate healthier as a high schooler than I do now. I know I ate a helluva lot more fresh fruits then than I do now. And so, thanks to a combination of Dr. Oz's health quiz and this, I am inspired.

I am also going to do something about my posture. I have lousy posture - this is what happens when you reject those seven-year-old ballet classes, though all those years of Taekwondo should have done something, surely. I can't touch my toes, but I don't really care. Right now, I'll just settle for standing straight and tall, all the time.

I want to live in the HERE (HEAR) and NOW. No regrets, that was my sort-of New Year Resolution.

I am determined to eat healthier. But I'll be damned if you think I'm giving up chocolate. I don't believe in depriving myself and I don't have the discipline to diet, so it'll have to be less processed foods and more raw fruits for now. More cereals and grains too.

I will make a conscious effort to get better posture. It'll make me look taller and slimmer anyway.

Oh yes, and drink more water. Dr. Oz says we're drinking enough water if our urine is clear enough to read through. That's the aim, folks.

So Y is back from Singapore. He arrived at 2.45pm today and I made the rare drive to KLIA to pick him up, trusty C playing passenger for the first time in case I lose my way.

I will admit, I was initially a teeny bit unsure about staying home alone for three nights, but not having to pack up my toiletries and clothes for stay-overs far outweighed the hassle of having to stay somewhere else (my in-laws' for instance). So I stayed alone. And armed the house every night. And realised only after the second night that our CCTV wasn't turned on. Oh well.

The secret, I've discovered, is to not let my imagination get the better of me, and to make the most of my alone time. I am mildly anti-social, after all. Reading in bed lots, going through Jay Chou music videos, watching the Heroes marathon, catching up over pancakes, visiting Grandma and the siblings... I had a to-do list in my head and I've ticked off all but one. Bummer.

Then there was the totally unexpected / unplanned treat. Late Friday night, after a disappointing event, the colleagues decided on the spur of the moment to pop by with a tub of Baskin Robbins. So there we were, pigging out on ice cream at midnight, eating right out of the tub, talking and laughing and ignoring MTV playing in the background. It was a very nice way to end the work week, and a particularly indulgent way of ending what had been a rather trying deadline Friday.

Guys, we really should do it more often, eh?

I forget what flavours we had. Something chocolate, I'll bet.

If anyone knows anyone who might be interested in buying a second-hand Yamaha Piano Silent Series MP80 model, please let me know. The owner is urgently looking to sell because her husband has had a stroke and the extra cash will come in handy. Originally bought at around RM20,000, she is now happy to sell for RM10,000 (negotiable).

(Picture is just an example of what the piano looks like.)

The Silent Series models are basically fully acoustic (ie regular) pianos that come with the Quick Silent System, a technology that allows you to play only through stereo headphones so you don't disturb anyone. Especially useful for those who insist on practising at ungodly hours, or aspiring pianists particularly fond of playing 'Chopsticks' over and over and over.

There's nothing like a breathtaking coral reef teeming with tropical fish in crystal clear waters on a sunny day. Nothing. If I could freeze time and hang out there in awe for a while, I would. If I could develop the snapshots of my memory so I can share every second with you, I would. If I could describe even semi-adequately how stunning everything looks and exactly how I feel, I would.

There is something magical about a good dive; when the elements all work together to give you that perfect experience. Tioman over the weekend ranked right up there with Phuket as one of the best dive trips I've ever had. Not to say I've had a whole lot, but it was totally worth the miserable three-hour-plus drives through torrential rain and winding roads and foggy night.

When people talk about diving, they always talk about seeing the big things: hammerhead sharks, manta rays, whales... to see these creatures are every diver's dream. But there comes a time when I think I get so caught up with the big things that I forget to appreciate the smaller beauties right in front of my eyes. Sometimes I catch myself spending precious minutes underwater looking out in hopes of seeing that something big, while totally not registering all the smaller (but no less beautiful) things passing before my mask.

Not anymore. Epiphany struck during dive number two on the weekend. I properly looked at - and promptly fell in love with - all the small tropical fish, who by the way are simply fascinating (Y will say it's because I like cute things). The rich colours, the countless species... the schools of a thousand tiny fish... I guess we take them for granted after a while because there're so many of them, and because we're too busy waiting for the holy grail. Set against the backdrop of simply gorgeous coral reefs... like I said, if I could develop the mental snapshots...

And just as I learnt how to appreciate every tiny critter and every unique coral, we saw it - a turtle, swimming among it all. It was my first turtle, and I didn't move until it had gone out of sight. It was to be the first of three sightings. The third time we saw a turtle it was in fantastically clear waters and it was maybe three feet from me. I watched it for as long as I dared without holding up the entire dive group. If I were alone, I might not have left for minutes more.

I heart scuba diving. In ideal conditions, it takes my breath away and inspires a dumbfounded awe like few things do. It reminds me of how beautiful the world we live in is - nay, beautiful does not even come close; it reminds me of just how small and insignificant I and my petty concerns are in the scheme of an endless (underwater) world; it reminds me of the Creator who formed all. I have always been a sucker for the beach; now I am (also) completely hooked on the unseen below the waves.

Anything that can make me lug a dead-heavy oxygen tank on my back, struggle clumsily with boots and fins and mask and weight belt and (the hardest of all) wetsuit over and over and over again, and then have to pay for it all, has really got to be something. I mean, I'm actually giving up shopping for this stuff. It's that good.

We also saw lots of blue-spotted rays. And a wandering squid. And tons of the most amazing fish. We played with clownfish - still one of my favourites. And explored tunnels. And saw dolphins in the distance from our boat. I give up. I just can't describe that feeling.

I think I scared the office a little with my outburst today. I didn't see it coming, you understand, but I also hadn't realised how much anger I actually have towards you. Without going too much into it, I've always reserved a special level of disgust for men who womanise, cheat and take advantage of women. Especially men who believe, whether deservingly or undeservingly, that they have the ability to do so and grab their thus-perceived superpower with both hands (and that other appendage). 

I know you're not the only ass to walk the face of the earth, but it's different for me this time. You see, I wouldn't like you very much anyway if you were doing this to other women, but when you do this to a friend I care about very much, it becomes personal. I know all those excuses about how it takes two hands to clap, and I don't attempt even for a second to absolve the other party from some of the blame, but unfortunately, I'm biased. This is my friend we're talking about, and you're the jerk who's ruining her self-esteem and some of the most exciting times of her life.

Nevertheless, I'm done getting angry on her behalf - or at least, I will try to be done. I rarely dislike someone so thoroughly and violently, but worse than a man who cheats and takes advantage of women is a man who does it without guilt while (and perhaps partly because) others keep defending him for whatever reason. 

I wish I could expose you for what you have done, but it is not my story to tell. Maybe someday she will be strong enough to tell you what you need to hear to your face; I certainly hope so. Until then, I should take up kick-boxing and hope this gets everything out of my system.

Heading to the polls. That's my mum and dad walking up front.

The streets were all dressed up for the occasion.

The opposition, who went on to win on our watch.

Where all the action took place... for this constituency, anyway.

Look at all the people queueing under the sun! Polling was split into streams according to age groups, and the queues for the oldest demographics were also the longest! It gave me hope - that they who have seen so much more than I (and who should be so much more cynical but are not), still believe in their right to vote and the power it can wield for change.

And change happened.

Opposition takes five.

They're calling it a tsunami!

These are just two random articles. Do click around for more.

I am voluntarily getting up at 8am on a Saturday morning... so I can cast my vote before the crowd gets in. Typing it out hasn't made it any more believable, especially when I know the polls are open till 5pm. But I will be getting up, and I will be going to the polls, and I will be casting my vote for the very first time.

Why? Because:

1. I try almost everything at least once, and I want to know what it's like to vote in a general election.

2. I want to know I contributed, did my part, fulfilled my right and carried out my duty as a citizen. Even though some people say my one vote won't make a difference; I want to know I tried.

3. Because I yak too much about Barack Obama, government screw-ups and politics in general to pass up on my one chance to walk the talk.

I have been greatly encouraged by the boys, whose efforts and involvement make my feeble attempt to give an hour (or less) of my time drawing X's on a piece of paper look like a mini chocolate eclair next to the biggest chocolate fountain in the world. While I do not undermine the importance of my vote, it is they who have been attending the ceramahs, who are unrestrainedly giving of their passion, time and energy, who continue to hold on to the belief that we can indeed make a difference, that deserve the credit.

I am determined to do my part, yet the cynic in me wonders if light will penetrate the dark side. Or if there is even light to be found at all. I'm sure there must be. Surely. Are we so far gone down the stormwater drain that nothing will bring us back? Are we doomed to be like this forever and ever? How can these people hold on so unswervingly to hope election after election after election? And you would think all that listening to Obama (hope, change, yes we can...) would have rubbed off on me somewhat.

My mother-in-law commented that she never expected my generation to become as politically-aware and active as we have been seeing and hearing. Not my generation, she said, maybe in a couple more. But the time has come sooner than she thought it would. Listening to the boys after yet another ceramah or training session for polling agents is inspiring stuff as they talk about the turnout of volunteers, about the young people who are coming forward, about their determination to do what they can. Is it enough? Is the alternative to evil really good, or simply evil in another face and form? Will we succeed in picking the lesser of two evils?

I don't remember the last general election - I was in Australia - and I don't remember the last time I was in Malaysia when there was a general election. But this one feels different. Maybe because I am now more aware, maybe because all that Obama talk is fueling the excitement in my own backyard, or maybe, definitely(?), because I am getting old enough to care. That makes sign #8.